I’m forever in pursuit of the perfect night’s sleep. I have a regular routine – a soothing hot shower, lotion on my face and feet, lavender lip balm, my body pillow situated just so, a white noise machine to drown out unwelcome sounds, curtains drawn to keep out the early morning sunlight, etc. etc. I’ve even resorted to Ambien at times, only to find that my body gets accustomed to sleep aids after a short while, and I start waking up in the middle of the night again. It’s maddening to be lying awake for hours in the middle of the night when you know your body is so tired and needs sleep!

But this morning I woke up and realized that I’d slept marvelously for almost 9 hours straight, without any sleep medication! I began replaying the night before – what had I done differently? And I remembered that just before drifting off, I’d been caressing my husband’s shoulder and arm, telling him how much I appreciate all the help he’d been with decorating for the holidays. It didn’t turn sexual because we were both so tired (although we’ve scheduled an intimate rendezvous for tonight!). It was just a few little strokes up and down his hairy arm to say that I cared about and appreciated him. And I remember feeling safe that I had this big, hairy, handsome man living in my house, sleeping in my bed, and taking care of me. My heart was so soft toward him in that moment, and that’s when I fell asleep.

And I believe THAT is what gave me such a good night’s rest! When we touch another human being, oxytocin is released in our system -- that feel-good hormone that helps us to feel calm, relaxed, and peaceful. And when our hearts are soft toward one another, we’re not dragging a boatload of relational stress into our sleep. Maybe that’s why the Bible tells us “not to let the sun go down on your anger,” because God knows we can’t sleep well in that state!

Give it a try tonight. Think of a few things you really appreciate your husband for, and tell him so! Then just stroke him a little bit (I’ll let you choose the body part), and see if you don’t sleep better that night!