Shannon Ethridge's Blog

Fox News featured a great article on:

Celebrities Who Saved Themselves for Marriage

Read more: http://www.foxnews.com/slideshow/entertainment/2011/07/21/celebrities-who-saved-themselves-for-marriage/#ixzz1TJuSy3DB

Just to highlight a few…

Lisa Kudrow

The “Friends” star swore off sex until she tied the knot. The actress got married to husband Michael Stern in 1995 when she was 32.

“I don’t know if you’d characterize me as uptight, but I understood what it is to be so afraid of sex, of your sexuality… for me it was just ,”No, I’m saving myself. Because I have to make myself worthy of the kind of man I have in mind.”

Source: AP

Kevin Jonas

Much to the disappointment of their female fans, all three Jonas brothers sport purity rings, promising to save themselves for marriage.

The eldest JoBro got hitched to hairdresser Danielle Deleasa in December 2009, beating his younger brothers to the altar (and the bedroom).

Source: Reuters

Hey Ryan Seacrest – you can look, but you can’t touch.

Although the singer scored high on “Dancing With The Stars,” one place she doesn’t score is in the bedroom.

“I want to be with that special person,” Hough told CosmoGIRL!. “I think [the choice] to have sex before marriage is an individual one, but if you’re just with one person, it’s only for one good reason, and [waiting to have sex] will strengthen that relationship.”

Source: Reuters

The “American Idol” winner brings her grandma along when she travels to make sure she doesn’t lose her virginity. Nothing works like granny panties to ward off the boys!

Source: Reuters

The country singer and “American Idol” winner told Slate magazine back in 2007 that she was saving herself for her wedding night.

Now a married woman, Carrie tied the knot with hockey player, Mike Fisher in July of 2010.

Source: Reuters

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A note from Shannon:

Because many of the visitors to this site are young singles, this 12-post blog series is written just for them. However, it’s our hope that parents, youth pastors, teachers, counselors, and anyone else who works with teens and young adults would also benefit…

(Post #9 in a 12-part Series for on Teen/Young Adult Sexuality)

While some teens and young adults consider virginity something of a “hot potato” that they just want to get rid of, many other (smarter) young people recognize the value and long-term benefits of saving sex until marriage. But refraining from sex until your wedding day can be a huge challenge!

How does one accomplish that goal? By establishing firm boundaries in dating relationships and sticking to them!

Unfortunately, many enter into romantic relationships with very vague boundary lines, and then they don’t even really know where things should stop… so they let them keep going a little further… and a little further… until they’ve gone too far, and then guilt, remorse, and regret ruin the relationship altogether.

Andrea can testify that if you don’t establish healthy boundaries early in a dating relationship, you could send your boyfriend the wrong message and find yourself in a place that you don’t want to be. She writes:

Because of the way I flirted with my boyfriend during our relationship, I aroused him sexually, and our relationship consisted of long make-out sessions. The more I did it, the easier it was to justify. I figured everyone does stuff like this and that he must really love and care for me to want to make out with me so much.

One day we were playing Ping Pong and the ball bounced into a dark storage room. When we both went to get it, he closed the door, took off his pants, and started fumbling with mine. I wondered what would make him think I’d have sex with him, especially in a storage room! I backed away and told him this was a direction I was not ready to take. I just wish I’d had that conversation with him sooner so we could have avoided this incredibly awkward moment!

Leslie says that she had planned on being a virgin when she marries, and her father gave her a purity ring as a symbol of that commitment. However, that dream faded into a memory once she and her boyfriend began having sex. Leslie says:

Although we were both committed to purity, once we began french kissing, my emotions and hormones went flying! We’d have sex, feel bad about it, ask God’s forgiveness, stay pure for a week, and then fall into the same sin again. Eventually we broke up when I moved away to college, but the secrecy of my sin still festered in my heart. I sat there during my quiet times staring into space, unable to hear from the Lord at all.

I knew I had to make things right and confess my sin. Sobbing, I called my dad to tell him that I was going to send back my purity ring because I had failed to keep my promise. He blew me away when he responded, “Leslie, you keep that ring on your finger, because I’m giving you a second chance and I trust that you will follow through this time.” I know God was using my dad to show me His love. Coming clean with my parents is one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but I knew it was necessary for me to ever feel fully restored. From here on out, I’m not going to arouse a guy to go further than I want to go, or do anything I wouldn’t want my parents or God to know about.

As Leslie and her boyfriend discovered, sexual passion can escalate quickly. If you don’t have firm boundaries in your relationship, you’re headed for heartache! I admire Leslie’s courage in confessing to her parents and her determination to learn from her mistakes and move on with better boundaries.

So what do “better boundaries” look like? How far CAN you go, and still maintain your sexual self-control?

First, realize that “How FAR can I go?” is the wrong question to ask as a single person. If I were to set off a bomb in a building, you wouldn’t ask, “How CLOSE can I get to that bomb?” You’d ask, “How far AWAY do I need to be from that bomb to stay safe?!” Right? So the better question to ask would be, “How much should I SAVE for marriage?”

Consider for a moment that no one says you have to go any farther physically with a boyfriend than you would with a male friend. You can have a great relationship that simply involves talking, getting to know each other, spending time with each other’s family, going fun places and doing cool things together, and enjoying life as boyfriend and girlfriend.

But if you feel the need to take it a little further to express your affection for one another and create an “exclusive” feeling in the relationship, don’t underestimate the power of simple things like eating together, holding hands, walking arm-in-arm, a kiss on the cheek, or even the kind of kiss that you wouldn’t be embarrassed if your parents or pastor saw you kissing that way (a “lip-to-lip: kiss vs. a “tonsil-to-tonsil” kiss).

But anything that is intended to be “foreplay to sex” should be left out of your relational repertoire until marriage. For example, breast stimulation, stroking of inner thighs or buttocks, genital contact, oral sex, mutual masturbation, bumping and grinding with your clothes on or off, etc. Those activities cross the dividing line between appropriate & inappropriate!

Simply remember that whatever you wouldn’t do in front of your parents or pastor, you shouldn’t do at all. It may sound like a strange boundary to imagine, but it works!

(adapted from Every Young Woman’s Battle, available at www.shannonethridge.com)

(Post #4 in a 12-part Series on Teen/Young Adult Sexuality)

To better understand the meaning of sexuality, let’s talk for a moment about tables.  Just as a table is comprised of four legs that give it balance, our sexuality is also comprised of four distinct components (mind, body, heart & spirit) that bring balance to our lives.

If one of the legs of a table is missing or broken, the table easily loses its balance and becomes a slide instead.

My dear friends Kevin and Ruth discovered this concept at their wedding reception. Following the ceremony, they walked into the reception hall where a long lace-covered banquet table displayed the beautiful multitiered wedding cake, the crystal punch bowl and cups, sterling silverware, and froufrou monogrammed napkins.

The only problem was that whoever set up the table had forgotten to fasten the latch on one of the folding legs. As soon as the red punch was poured into the crystal punch bowl, the leg buckled and everything slid down to the end of the table and onto the floor with a clatter! The cake toppled into the pool of red punch and the napkins were soaked.

Everyone looked to the bride and groom, expecting shock and horror. To everyone’s delight, however, Kevin and Ruth broke out into hysterical laughter!

But it’s no laughing matter when one of the legs of your sexuality buckles, because then your life can become a slippery slope leading to discontentment, sexual compromise, self-loathing, and emotional brokenness. When this happens, God’s blessing, intended to bring richness and pleasure to your life, feels more like a burden that brings great pain and despair.

For example, many young women call themselves “sexually pure” simply because they’ve never had sexual intercourse or because they’ve never let a guy go beyond their panty line. But are they correct?  Is their “table top” secure, or is it really a “slippery slope?”

While it’s easy to talk about someone else’s level of sexual integrity, let’s bring it closer to home.  What about YOU?  Personally consider these questions:

• Perhaps you have never kissed a boy, but you look at pornography, read steamy romance novels, or listen to sexually suggestive music and mentally fantasize about fooling around or going all the way with someone you are not married to. Can you honestly say that you are living a life of sexual integrity? (This is an example of mental compromise).
• Perhaps you are a “physical virgin,” but have repeatedly used guys to try to get the ego strokes, attention, and affirmation you crave. Can it be said that you are living a life of sexual integrity? (This is an example of emotional compromise.)
• Perhaps you wear a True Love Waits ring or necklace, but the only reason you go to youth group is to scope out the cute guys, not to know God better. Can you sincerely say you have your priorities straight? (This is an example of spiritual compromise.)
• Maybe you’ve never had intercourse, but you’ve allowed a guy to put his hand up your shirt or you’ve given a guy a hand job or a blow job. Can you honestly say that you are sexually pure? (This is an example of physical compromise.)

If you have been compromising in any of these areas (mental, emotional, spiritual, or physical), let’s do some “preventative maintenance” to restore your sexual integrity, okay?  Keep joining us for this 12-post series, but for now, here’s what I want you to remember about our “table top” discussion:

Your sexuality isn’t just what you do.
Your sexuality is who you are –
mind, body, heart and spirit!
Let’s honor God with every part!

(adapted from Every Young Woman’s Battle, available at www.shannonethridge.com – or click here for bulk discounts on Every Young Woman’s Battle & Every Young Man’s Battle books for group studies!)

posted by Terrica

I stumbled across a few statistics recently that I simply have to share with you.  According to a new study by the National Center for Health Statistics:

• 96% of Americans between the ages of 20 and 59 have had sex, concluding that 4% of U.S. adults are virgins.
• Overall, only 11% of unmarried adults are virgins.
• 15% of all adults abstained from sex until they were 21.
• For all men, the median number of partners was 6.8 and for all women 3.7

What does this study communicate to you?  Are you one of the few who managed to abstained from sex until marriage?  Did you not, but wish you had?  Are you a single adult but maintaining your sexual purity?

What I really want to hear are the BRAVE confessions both good and bad, of how either having sex BEFORE marriage or saving yourself FOR marriage, has effected you.

C’mon, who’s going to be first?!  Be brave…

posted by Terrica

http://www.cbn.com/cbnnews/healthscience/2010/March/Sexually-Indulgent-Now-Marriage-Ruined-Later/

Wow, this is a MUST read article.  Science is now proving the incredibly damaging effects that premarital sex can have on marriage.  Fascinating.

What do you think?  Did premarital sex have any kind of negative effects on your marriage?  If so, how?  Need help teaching your teens or preteens to avoid the same mistakes and pressures?  Pick up a copy of the new re-released versions of Every Young Woman’s Battle (for teens and college-aged women) or Preparing Your Daughter for Every Woman’s Battle (for parents to read with girls ages 8-12).  Every Young Man’s Battle and Preparing Your Son for Every Man’s Battle, also available at www.shannonethridge.com

posted by Shannon

http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,584936,00.html?test=faces

When I read this headline recently, my heart sank. Can you even begin to imagine what motherhood will be like for an 11-year-old? I can’t.

At first, I admit, I just wanted to scream! And cry. And hit someone or something for allowing this to happen in the first place. Basically, just be angry. But as my anger subsided, something else began to surface: even greater passion, if that’s possible, to help women embrace a lifestyle of sexual integrity, and become the sexually confident wives God designed them to be! (in the appropriate season of their lives—NOT in their teens or preteens!)

A vital part of motherhood is instilling sexual values in our children. We should be teaching our daughters (and sons) what healthy sexuality looks like, by mirroring it, by talking to them about it from an early age, and by educating and empowering them to save sexual intimacy for it’s most celebrated and proper place: within marriage.

Don’t let you daughter be a headline, or even the topic of gossip between teenagers at cafeteria tables. Need help? Start by reading The Sexually Confident Wife to find or recapture your own confidence, and prepare to pass the baton of healthy sexuality to the next generation. Secondly, pick up a copy of the new re-released version of Preparing Your Daughter for Every Woman’s Battle or Preparing Your Son for Every Man’s Battle (both available at www.shannonethridge.com). It’s one of the greatest investments you can make in both your own marriage, and your children’s someday.