SexuallyConfidentWife.com Official Blog

First, I want to say THANK YOU to everyone who’s been posting comments in response to these blogs! It’s much more fun to hear what YOU have to say, so keep it up! We all want to hear from you!

Another big THANK YOU to AOL (America Online) for posting the “69 Questions for Self-Assessment” (from chapter 1 of The Sexually Confident Wife) on the AOL Health page on August 30th. Just in the few hours it was posted, 5.7 million people took the quiz. Hopefully that will translate into many books sold, marriages improved, and families strengthened!

Here’s a question from “K.” that was sent via email in response to the AOL article:

Question: I just took the quiz on AOL. Do you realize all the women they show are super skinny and super sexy? If this is what you represent I don’t care to read your book. One suggestion was to feel great no matter your size, and not compare yourself to other women, but then they show super-models in every picture in bed. I don’t know if that is you or AOL, but perhaps a little editing is in order. And yes, I’m fat and yes, I’m jealous. - K.

SO glad you asked, K! I was so focused on making sure I didn’t have any typographical errors in my responses to AOL’s questions that I didn’t even notice the photos that they selected! But GOOD NEWS — we were very intentional about including sketches of REAL WOMEN in the book, not human Barbie dolls! You’ll see buxom women, flat-chested women, obese women, women of all races, etc. because I absolutely agree with you — most books make you feel as if you have no right to enjoy sex unless you look like a tiny waif. Certainly depressing. But I pray you’ll find The Sexually Confident Wife incredibly encouraging, because sexual confidence really IS your birthright, no matter the numbers on your bathroom scale!

What about you? Have you ever picked up a book or magazine article only to find that it ROBBED you of sexual confidence because of the pictures they used? Does all this air-brushing take the wind right out of your sexual sails? Do we feel as if we can never live up to the impossible standards the media has created? If so, how does it make you feel, and what impact has it had on your marriage?

Also, dive into chapter 7 (”Befriending the Body Image Bear”). And I hope you’ll find the sketches in chapter 10 (”Tantalizing Sexual Techniques”) incredibly ENCOURAGING, not discouraging!

Wishing you the BEST sex,

Shannon

2 comments

My husband almost made me cry the other night — tears of joy, that is. After wearing the same pair of jeans far too often because none of the rest in my closet fit right or look that great, I finally broke down and went shopping for new ones. I’d honestly rather have a root canal or Chinese water torture than shop for blue jeans or bathing suits. Some of you can feel my pain, I know.

After trying on over 20 pair (no exaggeration), I finally purchased a couple, which still didn’t excite me, but these were the lesser of the evils. I go home rather bummed about my apple-shaped body, and how my muffin-top waistline got a little out of control while we were traveling the past month.

But that night, as I was making love to my husband… lights on… covers off… me on top in all of my slightly pudgy glory… my husband visually scanned me up and down, rolled his eyes back in his head, and in all sincerity declared, “Oh, THANK YOU, GOD for a GORGEOUS WIFE!”

(and now we interupt this blog for a gratuitious disclaimer benefitting the slightly faint of heart… sorry to be so blunt, but understand this wasn’t a “missionary position in the dark” type of encounter. He was REALLY looking at me, not just visualizing what I must look like under the covers. And as my friend Nicole says, “Be who you are and say what you feel, because those that mind don’t matter, and those that matter don’t mind.” Hope you didn’t mind my honestly. Now back to my point…)

Yes, I wanted to cry. But I just smothered him with kisses instead.

Guys, if you are reading this, realize how much your wife NEEDS to know that you think she’s sexy — not because she’s a size 4 or looks like Angelina Jolie, but simply because she’s a Sexually Confident Wife who freely shares her body with you and no one else.

Gals, if you’re reading this, not even Angelina Jolie looks like her pictures on silver screens and magazines. Get over yourself and get naked. Even get on top so your husband can drink your beautiful body in through his eyes. Don’t waste another minute moping about what you look like — enjoy your body for the incredible pleasure it provides both you and your husband.

Wishing you the BEST sex,

Shannon