Shannon Ethridge's Blog

Another great resource, particularly for parents, that we know you’ll appreciate! In Shannon’s own words, “you’ll be challenged and inspired.” Check it out:

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We recently introduced you to current BLAST participant, Kathy Floyd, and after seeing this post on her personal blog we immediately knew it was something we wanted to share with our own readers. Enjoy! –SEM staff

I was reminded this weekend at my BLAST class (www.shannonethridge.com/blast if you’re curious) of a story about some hot water. Hot water is usually a good thing.  Think lobster.  Showers.  Cocoa.  Steaming your pores.

Sometimes I really like me some hot water.  Other times not so much.

I greatly enjoy a good hot bath.  REALLY hot.  Especially in winter, I love to let the hot water run over my hands and feet while the tub fills up.  If I’m cold and nothing else seems to help, a hot bath will warm me right up.  Putting something fragrant in my hot water just makes the whole experience rich.  Give me some Bath and Body Works Eucalyptus Spearmint products (body wash, foaming bath AND sugar scrub, thank you) and I can turn into a happy, happy girl . . . at least until the water gets cold.  (I like the Arbonne Sea Source scent too, just so you know.  Shameless plug for my sis-in-law’s stuff.)

I (and the other grownup I reside with) like a hot bath so much that one of the things on our house’s bucket list is a tankless water heater.  Those pricey little appliances give you the ability to have all the hot water you want instantly.  No more running the tank dry and then having to wait for it to manufacture more.  Trust me, I can run a hot water tank dry all by myself, no assistance required.  If you want a bath at my house, you better get yours before I get mine.  (That sounded funny . . . I’m hoping none of y’all want a bath at my house.  It was a figure of speech.) It’s great for doing laundry and dishes too . . . like I care.

Hot water can also refer to something that’s not so soothing.  It’s called Trouble.  As in “that girl done gone and got herself in some hot water.”  I’ve done that before . . . gotten myself in a spot of hot water.  You don’t really need to know more than that.  It’s enough to confess that I can understand how lobsters feel.

Of course, like with lobsters, sometimes we don’t crawl into the hot pot ourselves.  We get thrown in.  Or it gets thrown on us.  Guess what?  It’s still awfully hot either way.

I guess that’s a lot of what makes the difference between hot water that is tolerable and the kind that is not.  Did I choose it for myself?  Okay then. Or did I get subjected to it against my will?  I’m still cooked, and that’s just flat-out not fair.

On a side note, there are those who choose the hot water for themselves, and then get irritated about the consequences and think you did it to them.  Shame on you, you lobster-killer, you!  But that would be a whole ‘nuther post for a whole ‘nuther day.

Anyway, here’s the story I was reminded of this weekend (thanks Debbie Heatwole):

A man was trying to teach his daughter about responding correctly to stressful situations in life.  To illustrate his lesson, he brought three pots of water to a boil on top of the stove.  Into one, he put some carrots.  Into the second, he put an egg.  Into the third, he put ground coffee beans.

A little while later, he turned off the burners and let the pots cools down somewhat.  Then he continued his instruction by pulling the carrots out of the first pot.  He asked his daughter, “Can you tell me what happened to these carrots when they were cooked?”  She replied, “Well, they were firm, but the hot water made them all soft, kind of mushy, actually.”  ”That’s right,” the father replied.  ”Sometimes people who are subjected to stress and trouble get mushy and weak.  They’re no longer able to stand firm.”

He then asked her to take the egg from the second pot and describe what she found.  ”I know the egg was soft and liquid on the inside before,” she said, “but when I crack the shell, I find that it has gotten hard.”  ”And that’s what some people do in hot water,” said the dad.  ”They were tender before, but they let the hard circumstances of life make them hard on the inside.  Now, go ahead and tell me what you see in the third pot.”

The daughter looked into the pot.  ”It’s coffee,” she said.  ”Strong coffee.  Hmm . . . so you’re saying that some people let hot water make them stronger?  Like, the stress actually changes them into something good?”  ”You’ve got it!” the father exclaimed!  ”The people who are like the coffee beans may not enjoy the experience of being boiled, but when the process is complete, they have become something that is useful, even delicious.”

“I see now what you’re trying to tell me,” said the girl.  ”I need to always be careful to be like the coffee beans and let difficult times make me strong, not hard-hearted like the egg, and not weak like the carrots.  But hey, Dad, do you see something more in that third pot?”  The father looked at it for a minute and then said, “Tell me what you mean.”

The daughter replied, “Dad, not only did the boiling water transform the coffee beans into something good . . . the coffee beans transformed the hot water.”

So here’s what I have to ask myself . . . when life gets tough, do I get mushy?  (Yes.  I’ve been a cooked carrot mushball lately, and not for the first time in my life.) Or do I get hard-hearted?  (Yes.  Either I look for somebody or something to be mad at, or I throw up a wall to keep from getting hurt by all that heated liquid you’re slinging around.  Of course, it IS you slinging it around.) Or do I get strong?  (Well.  Hmm.  Maybe sometimes?  On good days?  If everything else goes my way?)

Okay . . . so sometimes, on occasion, every now and then, I can let the hot water of life make me into something usable.  If I’m in the mood and it’s not too much trouble.  Like a lobster who stays put in the cookpot.  I’m such a good girl if I can do that, right?  Like, three cheers for that lobster!!!!

Whatever.  But am I satisfied with being a good little crustacean just sometimes, on occasion, every now and then?  Not really. Do I ever go a step beyond letting trouble transform me to where I actually transform my troubles, maybe even making them more tolerable for others?  Not usually.

I could learn a lot from a coffee bean.  Uuggghhh!  Did I mention I hate the taste of coffee?

I leave you with a loose paraphrase from the book of James for your consideration.

“Count it all joy when you fall into hot water . . . “

What is your current hot water doing to you, or what are you doing to it?

(For more from Kathy check out her blog at http://kathyrodenfloyd.blogspot.com/)

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Click on the video below to watch as Shannon continues to answer the most Frequently Asked Questions she receives from women…

Have you invited your husband out for a steak dinner lately?  Or a trip to Home Depot perhaps?  Would love to hear YOUR tips!

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posted by Terrica

The NY Daily News published the following article today.  Had to share:

Teenagers inspired by Twilight sink fangs into each other in new ‘biting’ trend, parents fear risks

Twilight fanatics are sinking their teeth into something new these days – each other.

Teenagers inspired by the explosively popular vampire series, as well as shows like True Blood and the Vampire Diaries, are taking the fad one step further and exchanging real life ‘love bites.’

“It’s a way to belong to somebody and check their territory,” high school sophomore Pao Hernandez told CBS News.

Hernandez says couples at her school exchange blood with each other to prove their passion, and friends also give each other bites to demonstrate just how close they are.

“This is kind of the modern day version of the hickey,” said CBS Medical Correspondent Dr. Jennifer Ashton.

“But we have to remember, any time there’s a break in the skin, especially when you’re talking about the human mouth, it’s loaded with bacteria…You can set up for potentially some serious skin infections.”

The trend has parents across the country panicked, and not just about the germs.

“This really concerns me because it has to do with possession,” writes parenting blogger Vanessa Van Petten on her website. “We’re talking about something that’s about ownership, possessing your friends.”

Missy Wall, the Director of a Dallas outreach group for middle and high school students, says teenagers are using the bites as a new kind of status suymobl.

“It becomes a contest of who has the bite mark and then that means somebody cares about you or you’re in a relationship or you’ve been chosen, which is very similar to the movies.”

“Not only obviously are there physical consequences but psychosocial,” said Ashton. “This is a way of marking a person, and it is a form of emotional and physical abuse.”

But Twilight hunk Robert Pattinson doesn’t see the harm in a little friendly biting.

In a 2009 appearance on David Letterman, the vampire hearthrob recounted how a 230-pound man requested he sink his teeth into him at a the movie premiere.

“So I did,” Pattinson laughed. “And the surprising thing was I kinda liked it.”

Well ladies and gents, what do you think about this one? Alarmed? Freaked-out? Enraged? I’m sippin’ on a toxic emotional cocktail of all THREE…  Can’t wait to hear YOUR thoughts.

For parents in need of solid resources to help educate your children regarding sexuality, check out Preparing Your Daughter for Every Woman’s Battle (or Preparing Your Son for Every Man’s Battle) here:

http://www.shannonethridge.com/products.shtml

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The fourth of July is one of my favorite holidays for many reasons – the fireworks, the family picnics, the pool parties, all that fun stuff.  While celebrating the independence of our country is certainly a big deal, I usually do some soul-searching around this time of year to reflect on and celebrate my OWN independence as well!

What kind of independence am I referring to?  I’ll share a few examples from my own life and from the lives of many women I talk with each week through my coaching practice (whose names have been changed, of course!)…

• It’s been 12 years since an extramarital emotional entanglement loomed large over my life, threatening my marriage, my family, and my own sanity!   We just celebrated our 20^th wedding anniversary, and I’m thrilled that we made it through that season and learned how to not just survive, but to THRIVE in our marriage!
• Obsessions with how I look and what others think of me have dissipated such that I can concentrate on the millions of other, more important things in life!
• After a 3-year sexual affair with a married man, Katrina has had ZERO contact with her ex-lover for 18 months, proving to herself that she does NOT need a man to feel complete and live a fulfilling life!
• After years of bitterness and resentment toward her dad, Beth has been able to choose forgiveness and move on without feeling the desperate need to search for an alternative “father figure” to fill the void.
• Sarah just celebrated 4 years of sobriety from a pornography addiction that plagued her from the ages of 8 through 30, claiming “Freedom feels far better than slavery!”
• After suffering through the sexual advances of a co-worker for over 6 months (and admittedly almost “caving in” under the pressure), Mindy finally found the courage to leave her job and find a new one, resulting in a healthier work environment, a shorter commute, AND a 10% increase in pay!

It feels so great to be INDEPENDENT rather than CO-DEPENDANT, doesn’t it Ladies?!!

Have YOU taken time to celebrate YOUR independence as a sexual woman who maintains healthy boundaries and a positive self-esteem?  What better time than Independence Day to press the “pause” button and do exactly that!

Or if you’re in need of life coaching to overcome sexual addictions or unpack some emotional baggage that’s dragging you down, go to www.shannonethridge.com/coaching to learn more!

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Dear Shannon,

I’m a 41-year-old married woman of 13 years, and I am blown away by your book Every Woman’s Battle! A male friend told me about it (because he’s reading Every Man’s Battle), and I honestly didn’t think it would pertain to me, but how wrong I was! I AM the women in the book. I’ve know for years that something wasn’t quite right, but didn’t know how to put it into words.

I realize now I am a certified ‘flirt.’ I look for love in all the wrong places. I crave male attention. I’m literally the person you wrote this book for. I’m so grateful you’ve brought this topic out in the open!

I want to do some kind of study at my church on the topic. I have the gift of encouragement and teaching and feel very passionate about sharing what I’ve learned with others. I feel like, for the very first time in my life, that I know what God wants to use me for. I’ve always wondered how my past could be used for good…now I know.

Shannon, thank you again for writing this book. So many women relate to this but don’t realize or consider it a “problem.” I get it now.  I feel like the scales have fallen from my eyes.  This book is changing my marriage, my very life.

Gratefully,

K

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