Confession Time!
posted by Terrica
I stumbled across a few statistics recently that I simply have to share with you. According to a new study by the National Center for Health Statistics:
- 96% of Americans between the ages of 20 and 59 have had sex, concluding that 4% of U.S. adults are virgins.
- Overall, only 11% of unmarried adults are virgins.
- 15% of all adults abstained from sex until they were 21.
- For all men, the median number of partners was 6.8 and for all women 3.7
What does this study communicate to you? Are you one of the few who managed to abstained from sex until marriage? Did you not, but wish you had? Are you a single adult but maintaining your sexual purity?
What I really want to hear are the BRAVE confessions both good and bad, of how either having sex BEFORE marriage or saving yourself FOR marriage, has effected you.
C’mon, who’s going to be first?! Be brave…
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Both my husband and I waited until I was married to have sex. I was 25. He was a month away from 30. We spent the honeymoon with hearts overflowing with gratitude for God’s protection. When the wedding was finished and I was finally married, I was so in awe of God and what He has done for me LIKE NEVER BEFORE. I don’t think I really understood the significance of purity until AFTER I was married.
Couldn’t imagine having sex before marriage because honestly it wasn’t glamorous at first…it was challenging, painful, embarrassing, new….I had a HUGE learning curve. Simply wonderful to walk through the awkward with a forever guy.
I’ll be the first. My first time was at age 19. Before that, I had told myself and people around me that I was going to save myself until I was married. Being inexperienced with boys at any level, I told myself I knew what to expect. BOY, WAS I WRONG!!! All I did was prove to myself that I constantly made bad choices regarding men. Before I met my husband, I was an emotional train wreck. By the time my husband and I met, God had shown me that life without a husband was perfectly okay and He consistently drew me closer to Him.
Now, my husband and I still made wrong choices and had sex before we were married, even though we were committed Christians and were heavily involved in our church’s Singles group. I regret that because now I have to face my daughter and sons and tell them what I did, when they are of age. I don’t want them to think that it is okay to have sex before marriage, even if you are engaged. Sex should be kept within the realm of marriage and not before.
I really wanted to wait until I was married. Unfortunately I didn’t have the healthiest mind set or the best role models growing up. I grew up in a “Christian” household, yet nobody was walking the life they were preaching. I grew up in a very strict household with dominating, authoritarian parents, who were doing everything they preached against (and thought nobody was the wiser). I joined the military after high school and was sent overseas and feeling very alone. I had walked away from God. I started drinking and hanging out at the clubs. I started having sex with guys who made me feel good about myself. After a couple of years in this lifestyle,I hard his voice.It was faint…but I heard the Lord calling me back. I was a miserable mess. At one of the lowest points in my life, I met my husband (of 15 years now). He is a christian but was not walking with the Lord either at that point. He was a virgin, but struggled with pornography and masturbation (unbeknownst to me). Our history of sexual sin caused many problems as newly weds. Thankfully the Lord can heal any wounds of the past and he has restored our relationship to himself and eachother. We have three daughters now, and I am very honest with my 12 y/o and will also be with the younger ones when they ask. I can only hope that they can learn from my mistakes and pray that they will make better choices. I pray that they will grow close to the Lord and save themselves for their wedding night.
I am 33 years old and proud to say that I am part of the 4 percent of U.S. adult virgins. It has not been easy but have been able to save myself. I’m praying for God to send me my “Prince Charming!” I know he has someone special for me and I will continue to fight the battle in order to honor God.
Ladies–THANK you for sharing your stories so vulnerably! No matter what side of the fence we land on, what’s important is we LEARNED something of value to pass on to our own children, the next generation, the world…good or bad. Or both!
Keep being transparent-your stories NEED to be told!
I am very blessed to be able to say that I waited. In fact, my husband and I shared our first kiss on our wedding day! It has been a continual blessing in our marriage. We’ve been married almost 10 years now and have six beautiful children.
I am 26 y/o, and I am a virgin. I am determined to save myself until marriage. In this society, it is of course a hard battle to fight! But I am glad God have taught me this. Now I am waiting for my husband to find me
When i was in high school i had been dating a boy for only 6 months! when i gave my virginity away. It didn’t seem like a big deal at the time because i thought i was old enough (i was only 16!) but i thought he was the only one who loved me. Since i gave everything i had to him and he cheated on me multiple times with girls who were 11, 12, 13 it made me feel worthless. Like even if i gave all i had it would never be enough. I used to lie on my bedroom floor motionless because i felt like i wasnt strong enough to even move and i would just beg God to take me away (i wasn’t a christian). But it left me completely scarred. Even to the point i was considering taking my own life because i just couldnt deal with the pain. But when i got out of high school i moved to live with my mom 18 hours away and met a young christian man who completely swept me off my feet and i ended up marrying him but there is always this doubt that i am not good enough and i have nothing to give him because i gave it away in high school instead of to the man that God gave me before i even existed. I really wish i would have waited but i use what i went through to help teen girls understand why waiting for the man god planned for them is so important and that sex is not just something fun that everyone is doing. It is something so precious and it isn’t supposed to be just given away to anyone that they might think fit.
I engaged in some kind of sexual plays but I truly never had a sexual encounter and honestly, it’s not because I didn’t want! A year ago,I pledged to remain sexual pure until my honeymoon and I’m wearing a purity ring since then. I’m 25 and I’m one of the only 11% of unmarried adults are virgins. Some ppl say that I should be proud. There is nothing to be proud about serving the Lord I told them. I am just following my heavenly Father’s recommendations. I know it will be worth it and it actually save me from a lot of headaches. I may have a heartbreak but it won’t be as bad as if I gave my body. As a happy blessed single woman, I’m not my own. My mind, my body and my soul belong to the Lord. I am on a crusade against the media that promotes sex as the only alternative to express one’s love. I talk about it to my young friends whether they ask me about it or not. And believe me or not, I generally receive a positive feedback. Young people want to hear and meet ppl who are able to follow GOD’s laws. Not the physical virginity may be lost but the spiritual one can be renewed. I must say that the most important is what it’s on our mind. If I entertain sexual thoughts about men in life, I’m not better than women sexually active. It’s in the bible. Thank you to pray for us who chose to live a life of righteouness in terms of sexual purity. Another thing I came up with is that women need to stop about marriage as the main goal of keeping themselves sexual pure. We must keep ourselves sexual pure for GOD first so His name may be glorified. The reward is God’s blessing in our marriage-if that’s the path He chose for us because I believe in the gift of singleness. May the name of the Lord may always be glorified.
i’m not so fortunate. i’m 29 and first had sex when i was 21. To this day i’ve had 6 different affairs! I love God and I’m still fighting on. Do you think marriage will make it easier? i was able to last about 18 months before the last happened. I’m still holding on to God to set me free.
Most assume that marriage makes it easier, but that’s never a guarantee! At times perhaps, but not always. The better grip you can get on your sexual integrity as a single person, the stronger those muscles will be when you’re married, so keep up the good fight, girlfriend!
Yes Shannon, that’s what my pastor said. I believe that even though God is all powerful in our lives, i also have a great part to play in the fight for purity.I believe its a question of the mind. I’m yet to figure out why i desire sex so much compared to most Christians I know, at least those who talk about it. Maybe its my upbringing! I’m moving on anyway! Thanks for the encouragement.