Shannon Ethridge's Blog

Monday, November 2, 1 p.m.

I’m sitting in the San Francisco Airport, remembering why I find international travel such a challenge! We just got off of a grueling 14-hour flight with screaming babies who didn’t have a clue how annoying they were being, a loud hateful woman who surely had a clue how annoying she was being (but obviously didn’t care), and the most fierce turbulence I’ve ever experienced on a plane. I actually grabbed my 17-year old daughter’s hand (who was turning green from the mid-air roller coaster ride) and said, “Let’s pray!” What I really meant was, “Oh my gosh, this might be our last prayer ever so let’s make it a good one!” We wanted to kiss the ground when we landed. And here we sit, exhausted, emotionally fragile, and have another 4-hour flight to look forward to before seeing our special guys at DFW Airport — husband Greg, son Matthew, & boyfriend Brian (obviously Erin’s boyfriend, not mine!)

I’ve occasionally wondered if the intense international flight experiences are really worth all the effort & energy required. But once I arrive at my destination and God begins working in us and through us, I’m reminded why I love what I do.

Some of the highlights from Sydney include seeing hundreds of new bras hanging on a clothesline in front of Christian City Church in “support” of their African women’s mission: Operation Uplift (clever, huh?) and watching over 1,500 women of all ages wave white flags (Kleenex) in surrender of all of their sexual and emotional baggage – Wow!

Yeah, it’s worth having the 300 lb. man in front of me press his seat firmly into my kneecaps for hours at a time when I eventually get to see hundreds of women fall to their kneecaps in worship of the God I so love to talk about from stage. The multiple hours of sleeplessness are a small price to pay to see women inspired to go home and make love to their husbands with reckless abandon. And the bland airplane cuisine is a frequent reminder of what Jesus said: “I have food that no one knows about – doing my Father’s will!” (SEV – Shannon Ethridge version)

Am I satisfied with the traveler’s life? You bet. What a posh calling compared to some pastors & missionaries! I may be miserable in the moment, sitting here in the airport, but once I have a steamy shower… and a homemade meal… and a nice long nap to relieve the jet lag, I’ll be ready to go again, ready for the privilege of wearing God’s nametag once again.

Next stop? Sugarland (Houston), Texas for the Girls Reflecting Glory Conference Nov. 13th and 14th — which thankfully will NOT require an international flight!

Pressing on with gratitude,
Shannon

No, it’s Sydney!

Good Day, Mates! I can’t even begin to tell you of the amazing blessings and favor we’ve experienced on our “Land Down Under” trip so far, and the conference I came to speak at doesn’t even officially start until tomorrow! God’s presence is so overwhelming here in Sydney that I feel like this is as close to Heaven as anyone can get in a lifetime!

Our 29-hour journey was surprisingly smooth, and we arrived to an incredibly posh ocean-view hotel room filled with huge bouquets of fragrant flowers, gourmet chocolate, and some of Pastors Phil & Chris Pringle’s awesome books, DVDs, etc. Check out his AMAZING biblical artwork at www.philpringle.com.

Coming back here to Christian City Church (C3) has been like “coming home,” even though I’ve only been here one other time. But that one time was all it took to fall in love with the people and the spirit of ministry and excellence on this campus. My daughter, Erin, fell so in love with it last time that she’s been planning to move here and attend their School of Creative Arts next February.

I should be overwhelmingly sad that my baby girl will be moving half-way around the world in 120 days, but I’m too excited for her to be sad just yet. We had told God on the way here that we didn’t just want to pound the pavement and go from landlord to landlord until we found something tolerable, but that we wanted HIM to open a door wide and make it incredibly clear that this potential living arrangement was a divine appointment. It happened exactly that way!!! We were approached by the admissions director saying that there is a wonderful lady who works here at the church who’d be willing to rent Erin a room during her 11-month stay – and she is also an artist with a garage-studio who’s been through the exact visual arts program that Erin will be going through. We couldn’t ask for a better match!

We had an amazing evening last night at a mother/daughter banquet – eating Thai food and speaking TOGETHER for the first time! I’ve been trying to convince Erin for at least 5 years that she should prayerfully consider speaking with me because she’s so mature and wise. She finally consented, and she took the microphone and ran with it like a pro last night, encouraging the girls to guard their hearts and invest in healthy relationships with girlfriends, guy friends, God, and especially with their moms (or “mums” as they’re called here) during this pivotal season of their lives.

The EveryWoman Conference starts tomorrow night, so please pray for the 1,600+ ladies who’ll be traveling here from all over Australia – that the Lord would totally touch their lives, marriages, and families in incredibly deep, transforming ways!

Many thanks for listening to me gush and for lifting us up in prayer,
Shannon

Get a load of the wonderful ladies I’ll be ministering alongside in Oxford Falls, Australia at the EveryWoman 2009 Conference – they are a HOOT, and I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE their “Operation Uplift” program – check it out, and join us if you can — Oct. 29-31st at Christian City Church!

http://123campaign.com/web_link.php?ml_uid=4ac437f859ae6&lf=2009_10

I just returned from speaking at the Freshwind 2009 Conference in Alberta, Canada, and it’s safe to say I’ll be on an adrenaline rush for a while! What an amazing experience!

Imagine 500+ women of all ages, from all walks of life, gathered together with a common purpose: To get “Up Close” with God and with Others (the theme of the weekend). Some of the highlights were:

• Watching the international dance team “Epo” perform moves I didn’t know the human body was capable of!
• Being led in worship by Melanie Melo. If you haven’t heard of her yet, you will someday. She introduced us to a song called “More Than Ashes” by Merchant Band (available on iTunes), with a chorus that goes: “There’s gonna be a wedding – it’s the reason that I’m living – to marry the Lamb!” SO powerful!
• Watching as women reached out and ministered to one another in such tender ways during Saturday night’s altar call. I kept thinking, “Surely God is delighted… Surely Satan is NOT!”
• Discovering that the entire book table had completely sold out after the second speaking session! Praise God I didn’t have to lug any back to the U.S., and that every “seed” I took into Canada has been “planted!”
• Listening in amazement during the open-microphone Q&A time, where women unashamedly verbalized the kinds of questions about female sexuality that neither their mothers nor their churches had ever addressed. Hallelujah that “church ladies” and “good girls” are finally able to talk openly about God’s gift of S-E-X!
• Watching Canadians Carolyn Carleton & Deanna Sudom (two of my online B.L.A.S.T. participants) boldly seize the opportunity to share brief testimonies about how God is leading them to work toward becoming more effective writers & speakers. They both made this mama proud!
• Fellowshipping with the phenomenal leaders of P.A.O.C. (Pentecostal Assemblies of Canada) — FreshWind’s sponsoring organization. I’m so honored to have been invited, and look so forward to partnering in ministry with them again!

Quite honestly, I always feel like I receive so much more than I give when I speak. Women flock around expressing their gratitude for writing books and delivering messages that have touched them deeply, but they don’t realize that I’m just as deeply touched by the fact that they are willing to read those books, or sit and listen to me tell my stories about how God has rocked my world! It wouldn’t be very much fun telling those stories over and over to empty chairs.

So now I get to unpack my suitcase, do laundry, and prepare to head out again this weekend. Please pray for my daughter and I as we fly to Sydney, Australia for the EveryWoman 2009 Conference at Christian City Church of Oxford Falls!

Blessed and oh, so grateful that this is how I get to spend my time on earth!
Shannon

We’ve enjoyed reading all of the positive responses to the last blog, “Facebook Fiasco,” where I discouraged women (and men) from reaching out to reunite with ex-lovers with “friend requests.”  It’s simply a bad idea!

However, some have asked, “What do we do if an ex pursues US?”  First, there’s always the delete or ignore button.  That’s what those keys are for – to get rid of things you don’t want to deal with, and who wants to deal with an ex-boyfriend who’s come back around to get his big fat ego stroked?

Perhaps you fear appearing rude.  So what?  Wasn’t it rude of him to reach out to you after he ripped your heart out and stomped on it, or cheated on you, or simply stopped calling (or however it ended)?  If women were more comfortable assertively guarding both their physical & emotional boundaries, we wouldn’t have to waste so much time and effort licking the wounds we allowed other men to inflict on us.

But if you simply can’t ignore him for whatever reason, here’s the best strategy I know of…

Make it completely UN-FUN for him!

Don’t play his little game.  In fact, it’s okay to make him feel stupid for even trying if he refuses to keep interactions as superficial as they should be.  Remember, you teach people how to treat you, and you need to teach him that you’re NOT his little plaything that he can come back around to whenever he’s lonely or bored.

For example, several years ago an ex-boyfriend from high school (I’ll call him “Tim”) came calling — literally – calling me on the telephone several times during the day while my husband was at work.  (The inventor of Facebook was still going through puberty at the time, so I guess telephone calls were Tim’s best strategy.)

He was singing a sad song about how his wife was being unfaithful to him and he was calling me under the guise of, “What should I do to win her back?  Help me!”  But based on what I knew about this guy, and how many times he’d cheated on his wife long before she cheated on him, I knew he was just a skirt-chaser, and I was his next would-be-victim.  So I just made it incredibly UN-FUN for him.

He’d say stuff like:  “She’s never really understood me like you did!”
to which I’d respond, “Oh, I think she’s understood you far better than you think!”

When he said, “Remember what great times you and I had together?”
I replied, “I’ve had much greater ones with my husband.”

He tried, “I saw your face on your website – you’re even prettier now!”
I retorted, “Thanks, but I’m smarter too.  I have no desire to be your marriage counselor, Tim.  You’ll need to find someone you’ve never dated for that.”

He didn’t keep calling.  And why should he?  He wasn’t getting his ego stroked like he’d planned.

I also remember receiving an email shortly after my first book release.  It was from an older man who used to pursue me inappropriately when I was a teenager, singing cheesy songs like “I’d make love to you in a New York minute, and take my Texas time to do it!”  In the email, he gushed for several paragraphs about how wonderful it was to watch me grow up and blossom into an incredibly beautiful woman.  I wanted to barf when I recalled how he used to paw at me like I was a piece of meat.

I responded to his email, “This is Shannon’s husband, Greg, managing her email box while she’s traveling.  God has certainly done a lot in Shannon’s life, and I’m so proud to be married to her.”  I blind-carbon-copied Greg on the email so he’d be aware of my defense strategy, and he was happy to comply.

Funny, this man didn’t keep emailing back.  Did I feel guilty over my little trick?  Not at all.  Even if you did feel guilty for such a thing, I’d rather feel guilty over posing as my husband than for cheating on him.

Remember, the internet can be a powerful tool to help you reconnect with old friends, but be smart!  Keep your romantic strolls down memory lane limited to those memories you’ve made with your husband!

Wishing you nothing but the healthiest of relationships,
Shannon

I met a woman this weekend at a marriage conference (I’ll call her Hannah) who was grief-stricken over her best friend’s behavior.  She had used Facebook to look up an old boyfriend, and the cyber-reunion turned into an extramarital affair.  Her marriage was destroyed, her family was divided, and Hannah is aching for every single person involved in the negative ripple effects.  “Our families have been friends forever, and the idea of losing my best friend is bad enough, but to think of what she’s put her husband, children, and every person she loves through makes me just as angry as I am sad.”  We shed tears and shared hugs, but I knew I could never ease Hannah’s pain from the hole her best friend had made in her heart.

I share this to encourage you, Ladies (and Gentlemen), to banish the thought of contacting your ex-boyfriends or girlfriends – EVER!  I’ve experienced the same temptation, but then realized, “What could possibly come of it?  Some sort of stroll down memory lane that re-awakens passions that I struggled to put to sleep long ago?  Why walk into THAT nightmare when I have the kind of husband and family that most women only dream of?”   I’m very thankful that common sense has kept me in a safe place in regards to cyber-relationships.  I hope you can say the same.

Moral of the story:  Don’t let social networking become your new nightmare!  Limit your “friends” to those who truly enhance your life, marriage, family & career, and remember that it’s best to leave your old lovers alone!

Wishing you a guarded heart,
Shannon

It’s Wednesday after my weekend in Oshawa, Ontario (Canada) at the “Beyond Beautiful” Conference, and my head is still spinning over the fact that I get to do this for a living.  Really.  I enjoy it so much, I feel as if I should be paying them to let me come!  I get to speak several times on my favorite topics – God, Jesus, the Holy Spirit and the ways I pinch myself every day over the incredible miracles they’ve done in my life & marriage.  Then I get to stand at a table and autograph my books for audience members, listening to any tidbit of their life that they take time to share.  And I get tons of hugs – not just “pat on the back” or “neck hugs,” but really tight ones, like sisters who haven’t seen each other in a long, long time and who may never see each other again this side of Heaven.  These hugs often make me cry, but I’ve come to accept the fact that “leaking” is just one of my spiritual gifts.  And then I get to board yet another airplane with Terrica, my events manager who travels with me, and share stories with each other about the amazing women we each had the chance to meet.  I get home exhausted, but overjoyed, like a marathon runner who just finished the race and is completely wiped out, but too high on adrenaline to rest just yet.

And after I crash and burn for a couple of days and laugh with my family about how giddy AND brain-dead I appear to be, I begin unpacking my suitcases.  That was last night.  And the three things that I unpacked from my Oshawa experience that made me cry all over again were:

• A stack of prayer request cards a mile high, with secrets scrawled on the back that some have never told a soul.  I’m so honored to have them “entrusted” to our awesome ministry prayer team of a dozen ladies, who will most certainly storm the gates of heaven with these petitions!
• The most stylish pair of black high heels you could imagine.  I sat next to a stunningly beautiful woman in the front row of the auditorium, and couldn’t help but notice them on her cute little feet.  When I complimented them, she responded, “They may be yours before the weekend is over.  They’re really too big for me.”  The next day, she gave them to me in a gift bag, which yes, made me cry, and they fit me perfectly.  Now I get to “walk in Wendy’s shoes.”  What a privilege.
• At the last session, the conference leadership team presented me with a gift that almost made me bawl like a baby, especially in light of its’ meaning.  The theme for the weekend was how we are called to be a “warrior bride,” submitting to Christ as a holy helpmate and embracing our feminine side, but also accepting our call to wage spiritual warfare against Satan’s schemes.  The speaker’s room was adorned with a beautiful bridal gown cascading across the floor, with a mighty sword laid across the hem of the garment.  When no one was there, I mustered the courage to pick up the sword and declare, “I’m going to slice you and dice you tonight, Satan!  I’m going to chop off your head… and scramble your guts… and castrate you!”  This wild display of fury was to remain a secret between me & Jesus.  But when the leadership team presented me with a REAL SWORD on stage to express their appreciation for what I’d shared all weekend, I confessed my actions, which elicited much laughter and many cheers (which sounded like a high-pitched “battle cry” coming from this group of 400 ladies).  Hopefully every woman present will continue fighting her own spiritual battles with her “sword of truth” – the Word of God.  Of course, getting that sword past the customs agents and on to the plane was quite the interesting experience in and of itself!  Thank you, Lord, for favor!  Now I’ve spend the last two days watching my 14-year old son sword-fight with imaginary demons in our back yard.  What a joy to pass on this spiritual heritage to him!

And I get to spend the rest of my life doing this – speaking about, writing about, and publicly proclaiming the good news of God’s grace, mercy, and lavish love!  Listening to, hugging, encouraging, and praying for others who are passionately pursuing a more intimate love affair with the Lord.  Dang.  I feel like the luckiest woman on the planet.

And tomorrow I get to pack my bags for yet another airplane ride – this time to Overland Park, Kansas with my husband to lead a marriage retreat.  I’ll be encountering a whole new set of strangers Friday afternoon that no doubt will become friends by Sunday, and I’ll come back with a new set of prayer requests to lift up to my Heavenly Father, and new memories to cherish in my heart.  Thank you, Lord God, for allowing me to serve you in this way!  It’s been a difficult road at times, but oh, how I’m enjoying the divine destinations!

The following is an excerpt from author Stanley Leffew’s “Sugar for My Coffee” e-newsletters, which I enjoy immensely! If you like this article as much as I did, check out others like it at http://www.advice-for-lifetime-relationships.com/Sugar_For_My_Coffee-backissues.html

Thanks for letting me share this with my readers, Stanley!

The Next Time You JUMP into Bed with Someone,
Take Along a Parachute!

You ever notice how skydiving seems to come up on peoples list of things they want to do before they die? You saw this in the movie “Bucket List”, as the main characters included it in their list of things they just had to do before they “kicked the bucket.” Before long in the movie, you see them experiencing the thrill of tandem skydiving.

Those of you who have already embarked on this journey yourself can identify with what I am saying. For those of you who have not, let me tell you a little bit about what tandem skydiving is all about, and along the way share a secret to great relationships.

Some realities of tandem skydiving you may be curious to know:

• You only have to have about 20 minutes of instruction prior to going up
• You experience anticipation from a 15-20 minute flight to reach ideal altitude
• You will be jumping from heights around 13,000 feet
• You will get to enjoy around 3-minutes of free-fall time
• After the parachute opens you get to float around in the air and see visuals you will never see from the ground

Oh, yeah! One more thing about tandem skydiving!

YOU DO NOT HAVE A PARACHUTE!

Yes, you are reading that correctly! The person wearing the parachute is a trained instructor, usually with hundreds of jumps under their belt. They wear the parachute and pull the release at the proper time.

So, how are you kept from getting permanent grass stains on the inside of your spleen?

EMBRACE!

The instructor will attach his/her parachute to the safety harness you’re wearing. By doing so, you don’t get to see if the earth’s core is habitable for a human body at speeds up to 120 mph.

Now, you may be wondering; what does this have to do with taking along a parachute the next time I jump into bed with someone, and just what is that secret to a great relationship you mentioned?

Let me ask you a question. If you are going tandem skydiving, what is more important for you in the scenario described above,

RELEASE or EMBRACE?

For those who said RELEASE, meet your new internal bosom buddy- EARTH!

A successful tandem sky dive is less about release and more about embrace. Without the instructor’s embrace through your harness attachment, the release cord only benefits the instructor. Without EMBRACE, you might as well prepare yourself for a very hard fall.
Human sexuality is just like that!

The human body’s sex drive is powerful on purpose. It is designed to pull couples together for the establishment of a family and as PART of the foundation of intimacy for that couple in marriage embrace. The sex drive, by design, is really less about RELEASE and more about EMBRACE. Let me state this again in case you missed it!

The sex drive, by design, is really
LESS ABOUT RELEASE and MORE ABOUT EMBRACE!

Culturally, we have elevated RELEASE and put down EMBRACE. Now listen close, because here is that secret to great relationships you’ve been waiting for.

What we ELEVATE becomes what we CELEBRATE,
and what we PUT DOWN becomes what we KICK AROUND.

It used to be that life was about marriage and family principles. In other words, it was about “EMBRACE”! Familial relationship-building principles for living was the norm, and great value was placed on marriage and family life.

Then came The Beatles, Elvis, Rock-and-Roll and yes, Hugh Hefner and Playboy. Gradually our society began to shift its thinking and embrace a mindset for “RELEASE” over “EMBRACE.” The sexual revolution stepped onto the horizon and became the focus, and sadly, to our demise I might add, “EMBRACE” has been placed on the shelf and even mocked and ridiculed.

For over sixty years now we have been a world dominated with a fascination for “RELEASE”. Playboy, Penthouse, strip clubs, porn movies, Girls Gone Wild, Spring Break, the music industry lyrics, etc. all display this same “RELEASE” mentality.

What we have lost in the process is EMBRACE. Culture is selling us the sizzle of relationships but stealing from us the soul of relationships. We have lost our value of LEG-A-CY in exchange for how much LEG-I-SEE.

So, the next time you consider jumping into bed with someone for sex, take along a parachute. It’s a great way to help you remember that sex is less about RELEASE and more about EMBRACE.

You can ignore my words and go ahead and jump if you want to, but I would strongly advise you to make sure your harness attachment isn’t being overlooked. This advice might just save you from one of life’s hardest falls.

©Copyright advice-for-lifetime-relationships
by Stanley J. Leffew
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

I love the word “retreat”… or “re-TREAT”… or “retr-EAT!” depending on how you look at it!

With the launch of our first BLAST class this past Sunday (which was a huge adrenaline rush for us all), I’ve spent the past several weeks preparing like crazy. And the immediate future looks just as crazy, with speaking engagements almost every weekend from September 24 through November 15th. SO, I’m taking full advantage of this THIS weekend, running away by myself tomorrow for a private 24-hour retreat at one of my favorite Texas State Parks. Then my family and a handful of dear friends will join me for a camping extravaganza the rest of the weekend – kayaks, campfires, wild-n-crazy card games, etc.!

Thanks for your prayers that this would be an incredibly refreshing time as I gear up for a busy fall, speaking first at the Beyond Beautiful Conference in Oshawa, Ontario, Canada September 24-25th – join us if you can! Go to http://www.shannonethridge.com/speaking.shtml for more information.

As I’ve explained in my post-summer sabbatical blogs lately, my June highlight was speaking in Mexico, and my July highlight was traveling to Colorado, but my August highlight happened right here in Lindale, Texas…

Since the days of singing into my hairbrush microphone in front of the bathroom mirror as a little girl, I’ve always dreamed of being a musical artist making her big debut in a recording studio. In August, I came as close as I probably ever will to fulfilling that dream — I had the opportunity to sing background vocals on Paul Baloche’s upcoming CD entitled “Glorious!”

Okay, that’s an “edited” version of the truth. I was only 1 out of about 500 background voices on the album. I have the awesome privilege of attending church at Community Christian Fellowship in Lindale, Texas, where Paul and his equally-as-talented wife, Rita, have been leading worship for years. Although they were invited to record the project at much larger congregations such as California’s Saddleback Church or New York’s Brooklyn Tabernacle, he chose to do it “at home with his family,” and we were so grateful!

In case the name doesn’t ring a bell, Paul & Rita have written some of the most famous worship songs of our day – songs you sing every Sunday, like:

• Open the Eyes of My Heart
• Praise Adonai
• Above All (Michael W. Smith’s huge hit)
• I Will Celebrate
• Your Name
• Our God Saves

and dozens of others!

But as I’ve told Paul & Rita over and over, “Glorious” is Paul’s BEST album yet! Every member of my family has their own favorite song from the project:

• Shaken (My theme song lately!)
• We Will Hold On (Greg’s latest fave, but he can’t make up his mind!)
• Just to Be With You (makes Erin swoon over Jesus!)
• How Great is the Love (Matthew has wore that track out on the CD!)

Go to www.leadworship.com for more information about Paul’s music, and watch for GLORIOUS in stores November 3rd! I guarantee it will quickly become your new favorite worship CD as well! Oh, and be sure to listen really closely for my voice in the background!