Temptation is a Friendly Old Lady
On occasion someone else’s blog post reaches out, grabs me, and says, “Share me with your readers!” This is one of them, found at http://www.sarahmarkley.com. Thanks for your clever words of wisdom, Sarah, and for granting copyright permission.
An older woman sat across from me in Starbucks on Tuesday.
“Can I just rest here while they make my drink?” she asked me. The unfortunate responsibility of claiming the table nearest to the barista’s bar, I smiled and nodded my head. I went back to working on chapter twelve.
I could barely hear her through my headphones and as she obviously wanted to have a conversation, I took them out. “That guy over there is really tall,” she noticed. “And very cute, don’t you think?”
I glanced over to see who she was referring to. An attractive man towered over the others in the line waiting for lattes and peppermint mochas. I smiled at the woman and nodded again. I didn’t know how to answer her. “But not for me!” she laughed, referring to her age.
“Not for me either,” I replied.
He grabbed his drink and walked past us and out the door.
No one else for me. Ever. I thought.
And I didn’t even look up as he passed by us. I didn’t want to look up.
I’m not perfect, but I know what my limits are. I know that if I’m sitting in Starbucks and Tall Attractive Guy sits near me so that I can see him while I’m working, I’d better turn around or leave altogether. I know not to catch the eye of the good looking guy dropping off his kid at school the same time as me. I know to spend time with the moms rather than the dads at the soccer games. I do my best not to put myself in the place of being tempted at all.
Because to be honest, I don’t want to have to make those types of decisions ever again. The ones that mean life or death. I want to preclude them by safeguarding myself before I even get to that point.
Sitting there by myself I would NEVER have looked up to glance at the guy. But sometimes temptation comes in the form of a friendly old woman calling my attention what she thinks is a harmless cute guy standing in the Starbucks line. But if I linger, and I chat with him and I laugh then it isn’t harmless anymore. So I stop it before I even look. Before I even want to linger and chat.
Some of it is that I’m content.
Some of it is desire to be honest and true to the promises I’ve made.
And some of it is just habit that I’ve built over the last six years.
I never want to put myself in the situation ever again to even have the opportunity to make a good or bad choice when it comes to marital faithfulness. Anything less than this is too risky for me, for my husband and for our relationship. So I do all that I can to keep my own heart safe.
Because if I safeguard my own heart, I safeguard my marriage.
How do you keep your heart safe? Your marriage? Do you think I’m being TOO prudish?
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[...] This post was Twitted by InHisSteps13099 [...]
I’m a bit young for marriage but when I am married I hope and pray to be strong against any temptation so that I can keep the sacred promises I make to God and my future husband
I agree with this!! All it takes is a little crack in the door for temptation to come rushing in. As someone who hung out with the boys when I was single, I find myself gravitating towards them at times. But, I remind myself that God gave me the most magnificent and wonderful husband and I don’t have to (or feel like I need to) go there anymore.
God is amazing…I had wanted to share with my wife the fact that temptation arrives in my Inbox on a daily basis and she is one of my biggest reasons for not giving in. I held back from sharing for whatever reason…and then I read this entry. This is what God put on my heart to share with my wife:
“I get e-mails on a periodic basis from some of the sites I used to frequent before our new normal. I recognize the names in the e-mail header and I know what the e-mail would show me if I clicked on it to open it. To be certain, I am human and male and the temptation to look is there. But just as the lady above states, I focus on the desire to be honest and true to the promises I have made. And I also say a prayer of thankfulness for you – for the efforts you make toward and for me, the sexual outlet and focus you provide for me. I thank God that I do not need or desire any other sexual outlet because He gave me you and you are the most beautiful, sexy, wonderful woman I could ever dream up. While I am 100% responsible for the choices I make, YOU are responsible for giving me what I need and an outlet that God approves and rejoices in so that my choices are clear and simple.
And then…I delete the e-mail and look forward to being with the woman of my dreams!”
Thanks Shannon for sharing – you are a conduit for the Lord directly to my heart!!
[...] This post was Twitted by amyvoss [...]
Thanks for sharing that, Dan! What a fantastic, transparent confession…
Thank you Shannon for reposting this.
And thank you for your ministry. Yours was the first book I read during my recovery from my affair 6 years ago and it was integral to my healing. Thank you for being obedient to the call of God on your life.
Blessings,
Sarah
Nope. I don’t think there’s such a thing as “too prudish” when it comes to protecting one’s marriage. I feel like Satan comes to us in the guise of a friendly old lady pointing out cuties in Starbucks, the parking lot, the blog world, or twitter. And I am trying to develop the ninja-meets-cat-like-reflexes to grab the nearest 2×4 and whack that friendly old lady upside the head.
Seriously.
I am so on board with you.
(Pun totally intended)
I understand that we are to live with sexual integrity in our marriages, but sometimes to have a little attention from the opposite sex is fun! I know it is wrong and am a work in progress, but sometimes, being married for 20 years and still raising my children, I wonder/fantasize on how it would be to have freedom to be “out there” again! I have read your book “everyone womans battle” and continue to refer to it often, you spoke my language in that book, and I continue to pray that I can be free from any temptation and selfishness with my flesh.
virteach42