http://www.sexuallyconfidentwife.com/blog/2008/08/time-to-create-your-own-waterfall/ Mon, 06 Feb 2012 20:08:15 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= http://www.sexuallyconfidentwife.com/blog/2008/08/time-to-create-your-own-waterfall/comment-page-1/#comment-2114 Trying2BSCW Sun, 04 Jan 2009 00:29:10 +0000 http://www.sexuallyconfidentwife.com/blog/?p=26#comment-2114 I am starting to have fleeting moments like this when I can forgive my husband and have great, mind-blowing sex. I am able to do this more and more now. It has been 7 months since he betrayed me- a week before our wedding! It was the night of our bachelor and bachelorette parties. We had made a promise to each other to have everything be equal and fair and we had personal guidelines, etc. One rule we had was that we could only see strippers if BOTH of us did. Our wedding party knew these rules and since they were planning the parties together they promised to follow that rule. Well, my girls didn't plan a stripper, and his guys knew this. His big brother, whom now I can barely look at, decided to break the rule and go to a strip club. My husband was drinking a lot but still had since to say "she is going to be mad" and his lovely brother told him that "she doesn't have to know". Well thank God he told me the next morning or there would not have been a wedding! I contemplated all week whether or not to go through with it. I am glad I did, but it is still hard to forgive. Yes, he broke the rule, went to a strip club, and betrayed my trust. Not only did it ruin my bachelorette party by scaring my fun memories of it, but it ruined any possible chance of a relationship with his brother, and my trust in my husband. It was sad that our make-up sex was on our wedding night and I still wasn't even completely ready for that. (not because I was witholding it for bad behavior I just was that let down and confidence destroyed). I have read books on forgiveness, and a book called "Shattered Vows" that helped a lot. However, time is what is helping the most. I am trying so hard to get over this betrayal and I have fleeting moments and can't wait until I can reach full forgiveness. I am learning that if I forgive and forget it helps my marriage. It is just so hard! At first I was ok with him going to a stip club if I had a stripper too, but I had no idea that him going to a strip club would have such a harsh impact on me. I think most of it is because of the broken promise, but also I was not being honest with myself when I was "ok" with him seeing strippers if I did too. I tried to be the "cool easy-going" girlfriend/fiance/wife about that topic but that wasn't me at all. I am NOT ok with it. I am hoping to find new found sexual confidence and get the strip club incident (an porn from my other post) out of my head so we can go back to the amazing sex we had at the beginning of our relationship before all this betrayal. Is there any hope??? I am starting to have fleeting moments like this when I can forgive my husband and have great, mind-blowing sex. I am able to do this more and more now. It has been 7 months since he betrayed me- a week before our wedding! It was the night of our bachelor and bachelorette parties. We had made a promise to each other to have everything be equal and fair and we had personal guidelines, etc. One rule we had was that we could only see strippers if BOTH of us did. Our wedding party knew these rules and since they were planning the parties together they promised to follow that rule.
Well, my girls didn’t plan a stripper, and his guys knew this. His big brother, whom now I can barely look at, decided to break the rule and go to a strip club. My husband was drinking a lot but still had since to say “she is going to be mad” and his lovely brother told him that “she doesn’t have to know”. Well thank God he told me the next morning or there would not have been a wedding! I contemplated all week whether or not to go through with it. I am glad I did, but it is still hard to forgive.
Yes, he broke the rule, went to a strip club, and betrayed my trust. Not only did it ruin my bachelorette party by scaring my fun memories of it, but it ruined any possible chance of a relationship with his brother, and my trust in my husband.
It was sad that our make-up sex was on our wedding night and I still wasn’t even completely ready for that. (not because I was witholding it for bad behavior I just was that let down and confidence destroyed).
I have read books on forgiveness, and a book called “Shattered Vows” that helped a lot. However, time is what is helping the most. I am trying so hard to get over this betrayal and I have fleeting moments and can’t wait until I can reach full forgiveness.
I am learning that if I forgive and forget it helps my marriage. It is just so hard!
At first I was ok with him going to a stip club if I had a stripper too, but I had no idea that him going to a strip club would have such a harsh impact on me. I think most of it is because of the broken promise, but also I was not being honest with myself when I was “ok” with him seeing strippers if I did too. I tried to be the “cool easy-going” girlfriend/fiance/wife about that topic but that wasn’t me at all. I am NOT ok with it.
I am hoping to find new found sexual confidence and get the strip club incident (an porn from my other post) out of my head so we can go back to the amazing sex we had at the beginning of our relationship before all this betrayal.
Is there any hope???

]]> http://www.sexuallyconfidentwife.com/blog/2008/08/time-to-create-your-own-waterfall/comment-page-1/#comment-55 Sharon Kendall Sun, 07 Sep 2008 04:57:46 +0000 http://www.sexuallyconfidentwife.com/blog/?p=26#comment-55 I love my Shannon and all her wisdom, His wisdom! I love my Shannon and all her wisdom, His wisdom!

]]> http://www.sexuallyconfidentwife.com/blog/2008/08/time-to-create-your-own-waterfall/comment-page-1/#comment-42 Tara Hale Wed, 27 Aug 2008 14:24:17 +0000 http://www.sexuallyconfidentwife.com/blog/?p=26#comment-42 Thanks Shannon. Great reminder. Thanks Shannon. Great reminder.

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